65 hours

fall quarter is officially over!!!! germany, here i come! :)

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almost there.

this quarter has been another struggle for me :( i feel like i always start out optimistic and end up falling into a pit and can't get out. but for the first time, i'm starting to accept that i can't do things alone. i've been so blessed to have people around me who are constantly encouraging and supporting me. my complete mental breakdown this weekend totally helped me to realize this.


this weekend was definitely a huge learning experience and time for growth. new friendships grew and old friendships that i had decided to let go of became even stronger.


two weeks left. let's do this.

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happiness

bah! my first post in almost a month! well, that's probably because i've been superrr busy! i feel like everything is coming together (hope i didn't just jinx it all! :P) the first three days of school are over and i'm ready for the next week! :D  when it comes to responsibility, i'm definitely still learning, but i feel like i'm doing something right :)

"happiness consists not in having much, but in being content with little" 

-marguerite gardiner

i think this quote fits my situation perfectly right now. for the first time in a long time, i feel legitimately satisfied with what i'm doing and what i have. i am content :) 

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this is not a game

"you don't get another chance, life is no nintendo game"

so many times, i take things for granted or don't think about what i'm doing. since coming to college, i've really started to try and live to the fullest, having fun. but at the same time, i don't think enough about the consequences. lately i've been listening to the song 'love the way you lie' by eminem and rihanna. i know it's about abuse and stuff but i really really liked this line, i think it applies to everyone. life isn't something that i can just pause and start again. after this weekend, i'm definitely going to live my life thinking about the consequences. next week i start my new job at the king county prosecuting attorney's office. this is like my dream job for right now so i can't mess this up. i have to stop living my life recklessly, doing things without thinking it through, just for a night of fun or something. at the same time, i say this all the time. this time, this has to be for real. i'm not a kid anymore. i have to be responsible. 

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test of faith? or just karma..

just when everything seemed to be getting better, it all went crashing down again. sigh. i lost my wallet which had everything in there. i really, really hope that whoever finds it will be nice enough to return it. i mean, i've done that before.. so hopefully i've stored up some amount of karma to deserve it back? (or maybe that's just wishful thinking :( ) my mom says that maybe this means i should go back to church. i'm not exactly sure how that relates. but it has been a long time since i've gone back. and maybe i should start going again. i grew up going to church, and right after coming to college, i just stopped. i can't believe it's been more than two years that i stopped going to church regularly. how do you just drop something that you had your entire life? maybe it is time to go back. maybe this is a test.

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stay positive

my life will get better!!!

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reality check

I'm always trying to convince my parents and my siblings that I can take care of myself, that i am responsible enough, and that I know what I'm doing. This past year has really made me realize how wrong I am about myself. I still have so much growing up to do and so much learning to do. It's time to grow up and take responsibility for myself. 

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roller coasters

I like roller coasters, but not like this. I've had more than enough. I'm sick of this ride, but I can't get off. Every time I think the ride is over, it takes another twist.

"One day at a time-this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering."

- Author Unknown

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friends

These past few days I've really been thinking about friendships and what they mean. To me, friendship is simple: unconditionally accepting people for who they are. But then we, as humans, always seem to have to complicate things. Why can't things ever be simple? 

I've been told that I'm not a good friend by some people, and it makes me sad. ;( I really do try to be a good friend, and I guess if I've ever been a bad friend to anyone, I'm sorry. I guess this just means I have to try harder. But on that note, I have to say I have some of the best friends in the world, and I'm really thankful for each and every one of them. <3 

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 "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live a day without you."

~ Winnie the Pooh

the innocence project

it's been a while now since i've decided that i want to go into law. people always ask me why, and i'm never able to really answer them except that i want to help people who may not be able to afford legal services. but today, i read an article that really defined why i want to go into law. 


it's cases like these that make me want to do what i want to do. it's about a guy and his friend who were wrongly accused and sentenced to prison for a rape they didn't commit. there are so many cases like these where people are wrongly imprisoned for crimes they didn't commit, especially since victims sometimes blindly point out people in a lineup, or sometimes the real criminals aren't even in the lineup. this guy lost 17 years of his life for a rape he didn't commit, and is only NOW getting out of jail on new dna tests. it's crazy. how are you supposed to give back 17 years to someone? he lost his dad while he was in jail and the state even took part of the money he earned or was sent from his sister and now they won't even give that back. 


cases like these make me think how bad our justice system is. it makes me so sad to think how much this guy has lost. but it's the people (The Innocence Project Northwest) that helped him to be acquitted from this case that make me want to go into law - "reforming the criminal justice system to prevent further injustice."

dandelions

who knew wanting something could hurt this badly? 

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happy fourth! :)

my camera usb cable is missing :( which makes me sad cause there are soooo many pictures on my camera that i want on my computer! eek i guess i'll just have to buy a new one.....


happy fourth of july!! a day when everyoneee crowds in the same place to watch colorful sparks light up the sky hehe. and i'm no exception... fireworks tonight at gasworks park! which was superrrr crowded last year! but i did figure out that my camera isn't bad at taking pictures of fireworks! :P

in other news... i just got my first paycheck from the espresso stand yesterday!!!!


and then i went shopping... =.=" i'm gonna have to return some stuff..... i need to save my money! not for shopping, but for rent :( ahh responsibilities suck...

childhood dreams...

when i was little, i always wished that i could be like peter pan. never have to grow up, never have to face responsibilities. if only dreams could come true.. 

sick.. again... -.-"

Blehhh... I think I was sick at least like 5 times this school year, and now it's carrying into the summer... I had a fever for like three days and it hurts to swallow :( Sigh... 

But in good news, my interview went really well! I hear back this coming week!

But for now... to work at the espresso stand >.<" My boss just called and asked me if I wanted to work a full day cause some other girl didn't show up. Uhh HECK NO! Being sick, reading, and just standing in a little tiny trailer just doesn't do it for me... Ah I want this other job badly!!!

It's finally summer!

After a pretty hard year of school, summer is finally here! It couldn't have come at a better time! I think this is the first year in a few years that I won't be going anywhere for the summer, which makes me pretty sad. Hopefully, I'll be able to study abroad during winter quarter or something though..

So, instead of traveling or taking summer quarter, I'm working for the first time! Well, first time during the summer... I guess this is only my second real job that I've had...ever. Working at a tiny espresso stand that is surrounded by huge coffee companies (like Starbucks), pretty much means that business is veryyy slow, and I already want to quit my job... But...until I can find another, better job, I have to endure the bus rides and long hours of reading books and magazines. I guess that just means I'm getting paid to read? So maybe it's not so bad... But I guess I'm not really the type of person who likes wasting their time and getting paid for it? I'd rather actually be doing something.

 I have an interview this week for a position as an administrative intern at the office of the prosecuting attorney, which would be amazinngg.. Full time during the summer, and no more working weekends if I get it! *cross fingers*

I haven't blogged since last year -.-" I guess this will be my project for the summer, to start blogging more often, not even for anyone, but for me. It'll give me something to do :P